about sharing lessons learned…
Are the lessons we learn just for us? Or, are we to pass along the wisdom we gain from experience as we continue on our journey through this life?
Tonight I have been thinking about the past week and the lessons God is teaching me from my experiences. On Sunday, I was verbally slapped down and told that I was “almost right” in my explanation of sanctification. The gentleman who did the slapping used Romans 6 - but he didn’t use the whole chapter. Yes, it talks about us needing to know certain things and then reckon them so, but it also talks about the fact that to whom we yield, we are slaves. If we yield to sin, we are slaves to death. If we yield to righteousness, we are slave to life. In Chapter 7, Paul then goes on to tell us of his own experience. He says that even knowing truth and reckoning himself to be dead to sin and alive to God, he finds there are times when he does what he doesn’t want to do and doesn’t do what he truly desires, which is to follow God! In other epistles, Paul explains this as the Spirit and the flesh warring against each other and as putting off the old man and putting on the new man.
That concept has been on my mind all week. I am still human and even though the Spirit of God lives in me, my flesh is very much alive and active. A large part of the reason I moved back to Texas from South Carolina was because I was treated as though I was always at fault for everything that went wrong at the church and at the same time treated as if I was worthless. Satan knows that and that it is a weak point for me. This week I experienced something that just reminded me so much of how I was treated back then. I didn’t get the shield of faith up and fiery darts hit hard and fast. I let go of my temper and anger spilled out on everyone! Even before the anger dissipated, I knew I was wrong and began to express my sorrow and ask for forgiveness of those who had received the brunt of my anger. That night in bed I cried for awhile because I knew I had hurt people but my sin was against God.
Tonight, I am still thinking about this. It is not an unhealthy dwelling (or self-pity) but, rather, a very healthy consideration of scripture. First John tells us that if we confess our sin, God is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). I have heard many people say that this means we should accept His forgiveness and move on. Please understand, I am NOT feeling sorry for myself (I was, but I am not now). I am thoroughly examining what happened (2 Corinthians 13:5) and experiencing the Godly sorrow required for true repentance. The word in First John for confess is “homologeo” which is not just listing my sins but thinking and saying the same thing God says about that sin. If I don’t change my mind about a sin, repentance will never come because my estimation of the sin will not change from when I committed it. So, tonight, I am wondering if we move too quickly through the process. I “know” that I am forgiven and “reckon” that forgiveness to be permanent and true but I am willing to suffer Godly sorrow a little longer in order for the new thought patterns to be permanently ingrained in me. I don’t want to take the mercy and grace of God too lightly. After all, the conduit through which it came to me was the precious blood of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:19).